Emotion:unsatisfied? uncertain.
Random Thought:loving the distance between it.
What:don't feel right-the roots

"keep your enemies closer" rings though my mind as i think about folks who are no longer a part of my "circle of trust." past situations have really made me reflect on how develop relationships, not that i was ignorant to this before, but it's just been hypervisible. i will warm up to you in an instant, for a moment, but as soon as the lines are crossed i'll it all behind. i believe in ending a bite on a good taste and i try to apply this philosophy in my everyday life. surround yourself with good people. . . have you humble beginnings and humble endings.

in actuality, i want to be brutal and say don't cross me! but then again i can sit back and just try to understand why things exist in this form. with that all set aside, life is grand. loving the fact that i can breathe and enjoy my surroundings, slowly finding my niches again without contamination.

you know what i've noticed, i have really written anything profound lately. after reflecting on my past posts, i've realized that a lot of the focus has been on me.


“Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements
Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”


an interseting quote, but how can humanity exist without love and compassion? are our minds narrowed in on "romantic love" and the search for something "genuine" that we often overlook an emotional connection. . . a love for humanity, for existence and the ability to be alive? though it can easily be counter argued that some folks don't want to exist and would much rather see the world in despair. it's a sick and twisted cirle of events, the world would not exist without chaos. . descent as one would say. for the "righteous" would not be able to identify a cause without those who they deem "deviant." thus can we not argue that we are essential components to social conditioning of others as well as our own? i feel like i'm reiterating sociological theory. i suppose this will help me. but yes, in the words of morcheeba. . love and fear go hand in hand "love can stop your fear, fear can stop your loving" thus it is the power of freewill that we decide what we choose to do with ourselves. you can choose to not love, but that fear will hold you back from growth or from finding the alleged "one." if you choose not to love, it seems that you may have forgotten your childhood.

tbc. . .l