Emotion:
Random Thought:
What:

not sure what is it that's been building up inside. i suppose i'm at a point where i'm in need of some "us" time, where the focus is on us rather sharing intimiate moments. i feel like i'm just laying there with a motionless arm. i need a sanctuary somewhere where i can just let my stress and inhibitions go rather than being task-oriented i need a place to where i can just breathe. i feel that it should be in my relationship with paul. i feel that it should be in any relationship i have, we should have the ability to rely on the other be strong when the other is weak or in need of some love and affection. i don't want to think that we missed out on a kiss or an " i love you" i don't want those moments to pass. if there is anything i have learned is that tomorrow is never guaranteed. we never know if we're going to see the world the next breath and i think that's why it's become so important for me to end a meal with a good taste in my mouth. why my parents have learned to say "i love you" on the phone and why i need a warm hug "hello" and "goodbye."

for some reason i feel like i'm holding my tears back in as if he has no idea what's going on with me and wishing that he could sense this unsettling feeling.