Emotion:none.
Random Thought:i feel old.
What:nothing.

been doing some reflecting lately. trying to understand how i act in relationships and why is that my attention is usually directed towards a love interest. my sister spells out in three letters "D-a-d." I suppose if i take this approach, it's suggested that my relationship with my dad or lack thereof reflects my perceived needs in a relationship. let me explain, my dad was in the navy. ma played both roles but left out the very nurturing side of motherhood. it just wasn't the way her family expressed things. so, my dad would take a pit stop at our house and within the next couple of months leave for duty. the lack of attention and affection from my father has left me to fulfill these desires by placing these expectations from the guy i'm dating. i enjoy being held, cuddled, etc (what i consider a necessity,as does my sister) yet it's not common. i don't know if i make sense, but i'm just in a phase where i'm trying to understand where my perceptions and expectations of a relationship have evolved.

other than that, i'm definitely feeling like there's some growth happening. as if the master's program had my magical beans and out sprouted an adult. it's comforting knowing that there's only a couple more weeks left of the semester and i've made it this far. i think i'm leaning towards becoming a community college professor right now. it's a good source of income after the grad program and then hopefully move into another career.

. . .for now.