Emotion:
Random Thought:the world conspires greatness when one realizes their purpose.
What:

a lot of emotions have been brewing within my heart. . . my soul. just realizing trying to understand the present. trying to come to listen to my body and she speaks to me. soulfully trying to listen in order to become a better person. i just finished a book that only more eloquently shared the philosophy that i live by and believe. . . the ripple effect of humanity-more so the ripples of existence. everything depends on everything and it is for that reason we, people, exist. a life of dependency, of a deep love as we all struggle to survive.

at present, my attention has been dedicated to understanding how i arrived at an unimagined love affair. as the saying goes, "things happen for a reason." i know and believe in the reason why paul is in my life even as we approach our 5th year. he's always been the untouchable, unimagined love affair after 4 years. yet, here we are deeply in love. he has never held me back from my journey and calling even as friends. he's been a strong support system for me, someone that i was always able to rely on. although, within this relationship there are times when i feel like i can't rely on him to always be there for me when i need him most. that is a separating factor - a sense of reliability. other than that, i must admit that i've always felt like he is going to be in my life for a long time. unsure at this point under what circumstances (although hopeful), but i've always felt and believed that he would be a part of my life for a long time. i guess that's what you call a best friend. even though there are a lot of things that i don't know about him, especially about his past - but i just need to believe in what exists today. i have always dreamed about being able to know how it felt to kiss him, to know what it was like to be his girlfriend, but i honestly never imagined it happening. i never believed that i was the type of woman he would be attracted to or felt the need to fall in love with, but life has a way of making your dreams come true.