Emotion:sick to my stomach.
Random Thought:
What:

i'm feeling heavily insecure and inadequate right now. i know that this partially due to my hormonal imbalance, but needless to say i still feel this way. this is my way of acknowledging what's going on and letting it out. there are a lot of things i need to process through to regain that composure i once had. my spirit, self-esteem is slowly dissipating, especially when it comes to my appearance. it's changed. i can say that i'm pretty much back to my weight when i started college. that's quite an accomplishment for me, but it seems like what i've got isn't good enough. that i always need to try harder, lose more, but this time it's not for me. i'm at a comfortable weight, one that i know i'm proud of but it's not good enough for some. i usually don't succomb to societal pressures, but this case is different. so now i'm feeling heavily insecure and inadequate. i'm not feeling attractive enough for some, even though i know damn well that i'm a catch. yet i continue to repress that inner being simply because it's hard to climb out of hole dirt's constantly being thrown in instead of a helping hand.