Emotion:
Random Thought:
What:

the way by which we define ourselves is either in conformity or nonconformity of an image seen in society. this whole concept of originality is a bust to me, i don't believe in true originality. there are obvious concepts incorporated that have influenced someone's perceived "originality" to paraphrase oscar wilde, there is no such thing as pure orginality rather it is the work of influence. influence is the most powerful tool.
personally searching, i can tell you where a lot of my traits derive from, and why. the most meaningful lesson i've learned since i've started college didn't come from a professor but from a friend who did not attend a university, "i am a product of society." as much disregard i'd like to have on it, it's pure and simple. i am.

it's funny that i still continue to answer the infamous question of "who am i?" perhaps this is a way of telling myself that i'm simply not comfortable with the me that i am. i'm searching for so much more than what is really there. in 2nd grade, that was the time that the identity of concept was built into me. i had no idea who the hell i was. . and then just simply having to always explain to people in poetry, song or dance, or artwork as to who i was, was admittingly fun but sometimes the effort seems pointless. always trying to change people's perceptions as to how they receive me and disdained when it doesn't coincide with my percerption of self. this stupid identity craze is like a bed bug just waiting to bite and you can't find it.

i was surrounded by a couple of females that i wasn't all too excited about being around during the show at lips. and i honestly wondered why i felt that why. . . i suppose it's because i've tried so hard to not become what i saw. but at the same time there is a sort of desire to be surrounded a group of girlfriends. yet, i honestly don't see myself fitting into it, at least not with all of those girls. ya. i need to catch myself before i fall.


on another note, the water temp is almost there. just another 2 degrees and you won't be seeing me between 5 and 7 p.m. i definitely need some waves. some 5 footers at 6 a.m. today. oh waves how i miss thee with thy salty-ness