Emotion:upset.
Random Thought: the opposite sex really fucks me up.
What:computers on the 3rd floor of the Kellogg library.

stupid opposite sex. You GUYS really fuck me up. Maybe I should play for the other team, ha. It's just a thought. Anyways, boys have the tendency to distract me from priorities although it is difficult especially when I want to foster those relationships. I have no idea what I'm saying.

so today was a better day. I had a strange dream last night. I dreamt that I was watching a war take place on serene pasture. There were of course two opposing sides, one I assume was U.S. predominantly white and the other was some Asian country, brown. So I'm standing in a line with several spectators just watching the war take place about a 100 yards in front of us. Suddenly a grenade is thrown into my direction, of course I'm not stupid so I run! I ran into rosemarie. Out of no where storms of grenades are being directed towards the two of us. I'm screaming, "What the hell are you doing!? We're not in this war!!" I was seriously scared shitless in my colored sound glistened dream.

Something just popped into my head. What if that dream reflects the internal battle between the bicultural experience? heh, can't you tell I just came out of a lecture. So anyways, that dream just scared me for an instance until I abruptly woke up.

I'm here at school killing time (interesting isn't it, the thought of "killing" time, time is just a concept). I have my final class at 1 and I'm free at 5. Gee, how fun is that? The one thing that I love about my classes are that the material interrelates with one another. All the concepts are reiterated time and time again providing different perspectives and spectrums of comparison. I'm a nerd, I know. I like this stuff.

today in class we touched upon American values. "giving birth to ourselves" do you realize that this concept of giving birth to ourselves is stemmed of the American ideology of making a name for yourself? Achieving material success in order to prove that you are an American successor? Whereas, Filipino culture fosters the more collective identity. Parents will allow their children to live off of the fruits of their labor and in return simply ask for assistance back. "utang na loob." With this newly gained knowledge, it allows me to really put everything into a different scope. I can see the internal conflict that is the cause of my existence.

I think too much. I think too much? If I didn't think too much I would not be as aware and knowledgeable as I am. That's my opinion on thinking too much. It's helped to do so, it allows a person to create and enhance their critical thinking skills. If a person did not think "too much" such inventions or ideals, concepts, etc. would not have been conjured up.

interesting when you really put everything on the plate.