confessions: it's time to clean out the closet.
ok, first and foremost, it is time for me to get over things in the past. i need to move on and do something new. i will no longer wade in my history. it is time for me to learn from it and walk away. man. . . i guess evan was right, we haven't changed much. . we still talk shit. ok, that needs to be deleted from my program. hah. delete. i can't be so self-absorbed. i need to accept myself and make changes where i want to. . geez that doesn't make sense. . but it will eventually. i need stop being talk and do it. blog is getting boring i must admit. i need to surround myself by the people i want to be surrounded by. i need to explore the world like i've always dreamed. i must acheive my goals, because nothing can hold me back. i won't allow myself to do that either.

first of all. . i'm going to do it. i'm going to make myself feel healthier. . i know, i know. i've tried, but this time i really need to try and not reminisce about those days when i was skinny yet fat by others. i need to stop comparing myself to others and enjoy my life. i've got a great freaking life. = )

i think it's my fault that i fall in the abyss of depression. too much thinking can be harmful to your health. man, i can't believe i found myself looking at old high school memories. well, i mean yea, that's for me to know.


so let's do a recap of the days i've missed since the 26th.

27th: i believe i spent time with rosh and evan. pretty cool man. i haven't seen them in a while. evan said some shiz. . "i'm glad we're still friends" geez. we are pretty horrible at keeping in touch, it was still fun though just hanging out in front of the paintball place. i had an allergy attack at his house. . stupid furry things. hah. then we went to tgif with jenelle. her mom is crazy that's all i've got to say. i think we went home after that. ya.

28th: visited ate ricel at her apartment. it was good to see her again. i realize that i have more in common with her than i thought. my parents always told me not to be like her. . but geez i am. we're sisters, just like i'm like my ate rianne. so anways. . ate ricel she's cool. ate rianne and i were both glad to see some emotions in her when a certain incident occurred. i've realized that i'm as lost as she is when i don't write. there are so many thoughts that run though my mind that it's hard to capture them on paper or remember them. it's kind of sad when i lose those thoughts. but my sister is awesome, both of them are. my parents are crazy, but wonderful = ) uh. ok moving on.

29th: cleaned the garage
30: cleaned the garage
31: cleaned the garage. . at first i didn't think lex would make it, but he never fails to make my day. he came around 10 pm or so. before though, i was getting real depressed that he wasn't going to share the new year with me. . but you know what. i've become so dependant on him that it's becoming a bad thing. i know he doesn't mind, but i do. i need to maintain my old self and not fall into that category of "women who have changed since they've gotten into a relationship." my mom talks about him more than i do. i'm not really the type of girl who would go gaga over a guy. i can't brag a lot about guys. ya. ok.
1: i don't remember
2: walked around coronado, we had some strange connection that day.
3: hung out with lex, played football and frisbee at the beach, and celebrated kuya journee's birthday. cool crowd, but not my type of crowd.
4: watched lord of the rings a 2nd time with old and new bass clarinets from mchs. had dinner at tgif and lex came. played pool with lex and went home.

i'll write some other time. i'm being harassed by my family. church time.