sometimes i feel like i'm looking through eyes that don't belong to me. i feel like i'm trapped in this body, or as if it's the one that that keeps me from being who i want to be. i don't feel safe in my skin. it adds insecurity to me. i feel as if i'm stuck. i can't be an individual. i can't be the person i want to be, but why? perhaps it's the barriers that i put up. i set myself up for a lot of things.
lately, i've noticed that a lot of ideas have rubbed off on me. if someone says something, i have the tendency to adapt to that. i don't exactly understand why, but i do. most of the time, i do it unwillingly. i guess i'm striving for some individualism, but i can't find it right now. i know i'm failing school, i'm afraid that i'll be put on academic prohbation. my parents will find out and ya. my butt will be kicked. [world rocked] reality will set it and then i'll be compared to someone. ugh. i'm lost. no, i'm not lost. i can't explain how i feel. i never can, lack of vocabulary. (the kids keep me sane) i'm just at a low right now. i feel worthless. no competition. i'll lose, but i don't want to lose in the game of life.