you know i sit here and look up old memories. i finally figured it out. it's my past that makes me an ugly person today. it's the excess baggage i carry, dwelling on juicy stories of other people. i came into high school knowing that the people i meet would be temporary friends, 4 years max and that's what they are. 4 year max. friends. i suppose some of my fellow graduates share the same sentiments, but i wouldn't know. like i said after i graduated, high school is a place i would never go back. all the people that i met 2 years ago are people of my past. i know it's not a good thing to say, but sometimes a person has to move on. quite honestly, i never felt like i belonged to this place. although it is one of my hometowns, i consider my actual home my haven. it seems to be the only location that keeps me sane, that and beach. riding the waves calm me down. just laying on my board letting the water sway under me and watching the sunset. i forget about all my problems.

back to the subject. i'm like a feeder fish. i live off of the big picture, looking for some dirt. i need to quit that habit and move on. the people of my past should stay where they are, my past. hopefully i can apply this to life. i know it, but i can't do it. but i can.