oh the joy of studying. i can't help but procrastinate and make up every excuse possible to keep from studying. life has taken a turn in events. lex and i have realized how deeply in love we are. my family and i have created a new, closer sense of bond. friends have stepped into my life again. last weekend, i just needed a breather. thank you mm for opening my eyes once again in a cloud of smoke. thank you tang for being my crutch for always being the worry wart, but caring friend you are. thank you best friend, i love you.

two nights ago my mom and i had a heart to heart. i didn't realize how similar lex and i are to my parents. i know ate rianne is a bit jealous of my relationship with lex since my mom is a proud supporter of us. i try to open my mom's mind and ease interracial dating into her vocabulary as something positive. i'm trying to help my sisters out. i really am. you know understand how many fights my mom and i got into over the issue. well anyways, my mom, i don't know where to start, but i love her. i love her so much. i thank god for her and for my dad. they have always been my biggest supporters. lately, my mom has been diagnosed with tendonitis. she's an accountant, too much typing. recently, we've found a cist in her upper arm along with a 7-cm in diameter cist in her uterus. it's been hard for us. the hospitals have scheduled various appointments for her at different hospitals and prescribed medication. however, the meds may cause breast cancer and my mom is quite hestitant to pop the pills. so, it looks like she's going to have surgery. i'm not sure what the term is for this illness, but it seems to be an epidemic for older women. there is a loss of bladder control along with becoming anemic. my mom's a strong woman. my second sister has had various knee injuries in the past year. she may have to undergo surgery as well. the women in the family seem to be injured. we're "broken," but we'll survive.

yesterday in econ class, i started writing a letter to irma. it's been a while since i've talked to her considering that she is my best friend. i expressed my concern for rosh. i promised her i would let her know how he's doing, but i feel like i can't. i know rosh, and i know how he is. it's been hard since he's come back from jersey. i wanted to be there for him, but it seems as if he's been drowning his pain with alcohol. i suppose it's a phase that young adults go through, but with rosh it's different. after new jersey, after being straight-edge, he broke down. july 24, 2003, rosh, irma, and i were supposed to meet again in la jolla. i was there waiting for rosh, but i couldn't withstand the pain any longer. it was late at night, and my bodily pains were increasingly painful. i guess that's our way of telling each other that we've moved on. rosh has always been a little big brother to me. i care about him. i don't want to see him lose sight of himself. rosh, take care of yourself. i know you are, and you will. you have always been the best of litter.

i ran into aimee santos at the san diego fair. it nice seeing her again. it's strange how your friends that you lost contact with in high school suddenly become your friends in life. she and i have yet to hang out, along with serena. i'm still in contact with jenelle, the sister god forgot to give me. she and i seem to have parallel lives. whatever one is going through, the other is as well. it's been real nice keeping in touch with all these people.

last night, i went to hot monkey love cafe with lex, finally. it was great creeping back into the scene again. i met this one chick, trina. her and her boyfriend look cute together. she's a little woman, and he has big hair. = ) they're cute together. i saw anthony, his gf fran, and phil there too. man, anthony he's awesome. we preformed at school together for asian moxie. oh, i also met mark and his friend ryan. and renz, has asked me to perform for his film. life is grand and full of lessons. god throws so many twists and turns in your life and it's up to you as to how you interpret them.

for a week or so, lex and i were experiencing extreme complications with our relationships. we had forgotten what brought us together originally. we struggled, but we made it through. now, our love seems to be stronger than ever. i have never felt so compelled to be with someone before. for some reason, i just know and it just happened. that's my kind of love story. you just know, and it just happens. who would've thought that my soulmate was by my side for 6 years. i love you alexander charles domingo. thank you for blessing me with your love. you are a strong and beautiful man.