quote: fear is not the problem, conquering it is.
confession: i have a lot of fear instilled in me.

here's just a recap of the days i've missed.

21st: i started school. crazy me. when i was looking at my schedule the night before, it said i had class at 10 a.m. until 1 p.m. SO, i get to school at 10, i sit in my classroom. after 15 minutes pass, i realize she's talking about a subject i'm not familiar with. it ends up that i was looking at my schedule for monday, not tuesday. it was bad enough that i arrived late to class, what was i supposed to do? get up and leave? i sat through the class, realizing that it's a required class for my g.e.'s and the teacher is interesting. i decided to sign up for it. history 131 with professor jan roberts, a very interesting woman from "greatEST britain". the day went on from there, a mundane tuesday for me. i went to my history 130 class afterwards. my teacher served in the military, worked for special forces or something, intelligence something i believe; he was put on trial; his trial made it all the way to supreme court and was dismissed; and now he's a teacher. at first he came off as a very educated, well-spoken being, but things changed as time elapsed. don't get me wrong, he's a very educated man, but i began to get motion sickness watching him take 3 steps forward and about face repeatidly. in addition, you could tell that he was feeling pressured because his lisp become more audible and he began to stutter. poor guy. he reeks. i sit in the front, and everytime he comes toward my desk i cover my nose with my lotioned up hand. ugh! thank god for scented lotions. his class is going to be one those that i just have to deal with and pull through. my last class of the day was "white privelege", a very interesting and intense class. i feel awkward being there since i am only a sophomore and everyone else is graduating senior or working on their masters, but the teacher suggested i take the class. besides, it's only offered once a year. when am i going to have that chance to have my voice heard? professor elise is an awesome teacher, very open-minded and boastful. she is not afraid to say what comes to mind. she cusses too. that's my tuesdays and thursdays. hmm would it be "that is my tuesdays and thursdays?," but it's plural, so then it should be, "that are my tuesdays and thursdays." sure. = ) ha.
when i came home i had some time to myself and soon enough it was time for church. my mom, sister, and i went. i was wearing my sister's high school gymnastics jacket with the logo "DEVILS" written across the back. ha! yes, i brought the devil into the church. = X forgive me. after church, my sister and i headed over to the gym, ran 2 miles, bikes, and i learned new ab work-outs. thrilling day. i saw jamaul too, he's back at school.

22nd: i finally got it right that day. i went to all the classes, well my only two classes of the day that just so happen to be in the same room consecutively. first class, history 202 with my teacher from last semester. he's a bore and he upped his standards. i actually have to study i guess. no more open note and book tests. durn, and i have to write 3 essays, but the topic is still nonsense. afterwards, i had intro to ethnic studies. it's okay. afterwards, i hung out with lex for some quality time, came home and studied.

23rd: yet another 3 class schedule. history 131- i joined in the discussion about prisons. i actually read the chapter, exciting. history 130- snore. soc 485- intense self-definitions of "white privelege"
i visited lex at plaza, talked to curtis for a while, and waited for lex to get off. we then met up at barnes after work. it was an interesting night last night. i apologize for not calling, but i had to urge to call up an old friend. sam. i called around 1:30 and we talked until 5 or 6 a.m. he's awesome, but still a punk. he likes to take advantages of my fears (e.g. ghosts, supernatural phenomenons, etc.). err! i had to hang up on him real quick because someone woke up. i didn't want to be caught awake early in the morning.

24th: i had tae kwon do today. there was a massive accident on the way to san marcos. three lanes were blocked off due to the debris. = T very tragic. i just kept thinking to myself, if i had woken up earlier i could've been in that accident. i first woke up at 7 a.m., but decided to catch some more shut eye. i then woke up at 8:20 a.m., refreshed myself and left. crazy.

so this quote, "fear is not the problems, conquering it is" stems from the lessons learned today. the teacher was reviewing the rules with us and he pointed about the concept about fear. we all live our lives in fear, regardless of the situation. i think tae kwon do is a good thing for me. it gives me that stability and confidence i need. "it builds character", i was once told. i have a lot to be built. now i just need to run some errands, maybe lex and i will catch a showing of "darkness falls."