continuation.

my sister likes to complain about me not being so family oriented. we just had lunch together. it's like the attack of the health freaks or something at my house. my family is devouring this peach salad. thanks auntie josie for introducing it to my sister, really thanks. = T err. we had what seemed to be a tablespoon of soup and a sandwich, which is practically the salad between some bread and tuna. my mom's following my sister's habits. she's a freak i tell you. i swear, i saw green antennas sprout out her head.(my sister) after i finished eating i left the table. she gave me a dirty look. sorry, i wasn't raised that way. besides i was too young to remember. i grew up in the age where you ate your dinner, which is composed of snacks, in front of the television.

we have different parents. my parents brought me up during the post-christian life, and my sisters during the pre-christian life. that's how my mom likes to refer to it. BEFORE CHRIST. b.c. or for me branigan carles. b. b. c. before branigan carles. this is my life after him. yes, i still have an attachment to that past life. my being now is composed of that past. that experience was the one that changed everything about me. i'm more open with my mom. i told her about my past with branigan. you know i don't even know what to classify that experience as. i call it abuse, but no one else did. i can relive each moment, happy or sad. most of them beginning happy and ending sad.

devotion concert day.

he pulled over to the side. we argued and argued. i found a dogtag in his car with tara and his name. i started hitting him. i was so angry. he taught me to fight. we hit each other back and forth, leaving bruises both inside and out. we still managed to go to the concert where i said we should start over. forget the past and move forward. he held that against me from the day on. i want to believe he changed, but i can't. it's hard for me now to share certain aspects of my life with someone else. i can just swing the door open to let them in because if i do, i bring back all the other memories. i want to forget them, but i just can't. i want to do something new, never repeat the past. learn from my mistakes. i want to live my life the way i want to live it. it's been two years and i still remember. i see the images of days i choose to forget, but can't.