Emotion:
Random Thought:
What:

so this whole individualistic ideology is bugging me. sometimes i enjoy the fact that we are all individuals, but yet i am sickened by those who just jumped the bandwagon. i'm all for it, but if you weren't it before. . go away? hypocritical eh? i'm pretty sure i've done it too, but i think that's the whole thing with wanting to own my life, to own my style, and me. yet, i don't want to share?? well. . . no posers i guess is what you can say.

i suppose that since i've moved to san diego, i've been wanting to move away. eh? no sense. my intentions of posting on this website was not to keep others informed about my life, rather it was a simpler way for me to express myself. i just couldn't write the words fast enough. now, it doesn't feel like a carefree space for myself. yes. do you ever wonder what people mean when they attach simple words like "ya" to the end of a sentence or anywhere in a paragraph. is there more to that "ya?"

damn, there are things i want to post, but there are things i don't want people to know until i'm ready to say anything. this was a place to reflect and not to boast.

i'm one step away from erupting about this mayhem. it's becoming a nuisance.

people keep walking,
people keep talking
never stopping when the lights green
to contemplate about the once serene scene
laying it on the line
growing between concrete cracks, the deceit and tiresome lie
divides an equator, one too hot and one too cold
never a middle
forced to maintain silence, only to retain sanity
people keep walking,
people keep talking.


i'm growing weary of a lot of mundane experiences. i'm getting tired of people who think they can rock before they can strum. blah. example: a friend just called a friend asking, "what's a good BASS GUITAR, 4 string or 5 string?" thinking, "what the hell? you were never into that kind of music. . and so now it's a trend and you want to jump on it?!" then, getting a guitar and calling the friend, " i got a green guitar!" thinking, okay what does that have to do with anything?? it's not the damn color that counts, it the brand and quality. a guy walks up to a girl, how do you become punk? girl: see that trash can. she walks over to it and kicks it. girl: that's punk. the guy walks over to the trash can and kicks it. guy: is that punk? girl: no that's TRENDY!

blah! stupid individualistic ideolgoy has done fucked up my head. don't mind me this is what brews in the depths of my mind. i have respect for people who have respect for the culture that they want to live and have respect for themselves. otherwise if you're just trying to look cool because it's "cool" and you have no fucking clue what you're representing, don't talk to me. i'm not saying i'm a guru on life, but i like to surround myself with positive energy. don't meddle into other people's lives, let us be. thanks. your cooperation is greatly appreciated.

sincerely,

patricia