once again it prevails. i know it shouldn't bother me, but i can't help it. it's only one degree of separation, how am i not supposed to care? well you see, my family is the black sheep of my dad's family. the relatives constantly question our motives, pick it apart until there's nothing left. my mom came in last night to play with tsiko and use the comp. we chatted a little bit, then she brought up my major. my uncle asked my mom what my major was which is social science. he didn't care for it; he doesn't think i can get a job with that major. damn you know! this is the side of my life that always bring me down. you expect that your own flesh and blood would be supportive of you, but no. they would rather see you fail and pick you apart until you're just bones. it frustrates me heavily. he's bragging about my cousin who's majoring in computer engineering, wow! good job, ya. i'm just an unconventional person, i have different interests. i don't want to work on man made machines, i want to work with man made issues. (that's a lie, i just hate technology (to some degree) and politics.) argh!!!

we recently built a house in the philippines in case we decide to move there. my mom kept it a secret from the family for obvious reasons. as soon as they found out, they just began questioning our motives. "why did you build that house? who's going to live there? " argh bull crap. you know i don't want to feel like this towards my own family, i know it hurts my dad when he knows that we (my sisters and i) choose not to attend family gatherings because we simpy don't enjoy their company. ya.

my family's pretty fucked up, then again everyone has a story. ya. i don't think i can ever tell you of the frustrations i have built up inside me because of this issue.

a look on the brighter side:
things that make me happy

surprises/presents
my immediate family (sometimes)
alexander domingo
friends (sometimes)
completing a piece
going out to slamms
listening to music
going to church
finishing an assignment
passing all my classes
seeing others happy