confession: i'm worn out.

i slept for 8 hours last night. i haven't done that in a while. all this sleep, and yet i'm still exhausted. thank god i only have one class today, history's cancelled. i'm stressed out, at least i think i am. i prefer overwhelmed. sometimes, i feel like i'm holding on too tight. (that looks weird "on too") all this pressure is on me regarding apss, and it just has to mend itself out. i believe that next semester will be better because it will be something that i will have more control over, rather than picking up someone's shit which is what i am doing now.

jam control is chaotic. i don't think apss will be sponsoring the team anymore. there are too many issues brewing from it. "it's the work ethics." it's hard to let it go, especially after all the hard work i've put into it. maybe it's just a selfish desire to be apart of a dance team. i'm trying to live my childhood dream. i am a performer, everyone is a performer. we all play a leading role in life. we changes sets, we have costume changes. we are all performers. when life hands you shit, throw it back in their face.

as of april 13,2003 i am an official girlfriend. i bought a shirt that said "50% single." because, technically i was still available. i wasn't an official gf. i told lex about the shirt and the pressure was on. i was able to spend the weekend with him. thank god. the more time i spend with him, the more i realize how much i love him. (you can stop reading now if you don't like this mushy junk) but i am in awe of him, he supports me regardless and opens my mind even more. he makes me become a better person, and never lets me forget who i am. yes. okay, enough.

school time. bye.