visit guerilla girls

confession: i have repented.

today is ash wednesday and i've just repented for all my sins. tabula rasa. i now have a clean slate so to speak. i had another strange dream last night.

it involves a native american (i will refer to it as an idian), a cowboy hick, csusm associates, friends, family, and lex.

beginning: i am shopping with a curtis. we bump into branigan and tara. branigan is trying to talk me, but i am ignoring him. i know what trouble will rise. in my mind, i didn't want them to mistake curtis as my boyfriend, when in reality lex was my boyfriend. curtis and i then head home. he's hanging out in the bedroom and lex is in the bathroom. lex pulls me in the bathroom. i say "no" and walk out. suddenly, diane starts yelling and drags me into someone's bedroom, it looks like alfred. she's insisting that i like the guy she likes. i believe she's referring to curtis. i say, "you're stupid. why the hell would i do that when i already have a boyfriend?" i relecutantly tell her i was in the bathroom with lex. she was stupified and that was it.

it was time for bed and everyone (family, friends, others) were scattered around the house. i noticed that some people had white sheets, blankets and pillows. i had only one blanket and two pillows placed on the floor. i didn't intend to share the blanket, but i felt that lex should sleep with me. so we managed to squeeze into the taco-folded blanket.

end: i am now with an indian who i have to protect. he is a genuine indian. he doesn't understand english and believes that i am infatuated with him. he jumps into the mud for camoflauge and comes out covered with clay. he is wearing a log on his back with knifes wedged in. the hick cowboy, "white trash" racist bigot, has a rope in his hand with beads on it. he says he has to take my indian away. i refuse, but he insists. i talk to the indian, but he gives me glassy eyes and is convinced i want him. i manage to tell him that i have to let this man take him away for a while because he is believed to be dangerous and it is for the safety of everyone around. when i bring the indian to the cowboy, i go crazy. i could tell that the cowboy did not actually intend to keep the indian for simply an hour, but longer. i run after him and scream. i try to grab the rope, but the cowboy comes out with some huge rectangular object. his wife, an asian woman, stands at the side. i scream, "are you going to let him do this to me?!" so she pushes him aside and i run after the cowboy. but the asian wife grabs the object and threatens to throw it at the indian. i then wake up.

yesterday, my sister and i saw the guerrilla girls. very interesting, not much to say.

today was a long day. i'll share that another time.


danvic briones: filipino artist