today was like any other day. it just piled more thoughts on top of my pile. i must admit i am very insecure. i am afraid of what people think of me, but then i realize that it's not worth making a big deal out of. i have the tendency to adapt to the crowd i'm around. this all goes back to chem lab, last week. i was working w/this girl and she had the "i don't care attitude." so it rubbed off on me. today as i walked by, i felt as if she was talking about me. . but then again i shouldn't care. when you think about it. . someone who doesn't know you can't make a judgement about you nor understand you. better yet, no one has the right to judge a person. i think i long for understanding. someone who can completely understand me and realize that i am not weird. although. . i like being weird. i like the thought of being an individual, but i find myself blending in with the crowd. i feel as if i'm placed into a category, no real sense of individuality. i get stared at for being myself, actually being like the other people i am placed into a category with. this is all actually mental. eh, you just see it. you see all the little cliques. i'm bothered by what i see and well i can't find a sense of sanity. don't get me wrong, i love being social. i love talking and meeting new people, but i don't like having to change myself. ah, i'm just a contradiction in itself.
why is it that artistic people seem so dramatic? i know i'm stereotyping a bit. i just noticed it last night. they seem so dramatic. ok. i'm going to end that thought before i get started.
recap: went to history. missed chem lecture. went to chem group and lab. gym. home.
feeling: overwhelmed.

"there is no day but today" -rent