"i am in love with the idea of being in love, but not with the idea of being with someone" - me

Love is a funny w<3rd. it always seems to be a subject that crosses my mind. i do admit i see love as a word and nothing more. i have a couple pieces stating that, "love is a verb". ever since i've experienced so-called "love", i don't know what to think of it. it comes in different forms, sometimes disguised or an imposter. I can't put my finger on it, but i don't think i can understand the concept of w<3rd. i can listen to sappy love songs, i can watch sob love stories, but it just doesn't effect me. i'll want something similar to a "love story", but in a day or so, better yet a few hours, i'm over it. i realize that w<3rd cannot be depicted on screen. it's not the same for everyone, maybe it's just not meant for me. i think i'm going to be in w<3rd and not even know it. "when you think your in love, you really aren't. but when you think you're not, you are" that came about when i was surrounded by others claiming that they were already in love after a couple weeks encounter w/another individual, only to realize that it was just a simple crush. infatuation.
w<3rd comes and goes. you can have all the w<3rd stories you want. you can have anything you want, but if you're too stubborn to realize it then you have nothing at all. i say this because right in front of me is this great person, but i can't do anything about it. at least, i'm not allowing myself to. there are too many insecurities as far as taking a risk. i'm a risk-taker when i want to be one, but right now is not my time. this clock is similar to my biological clock, only it's a meter, a love-meter, still close to "cold stuff". love has no room in this heart, as far as potential mates go. i look at couples and see the happy times they share knowing that there were many hard times and despair beneath those smiles. too many struggles to be in a relationship, having to compromise yourself for the sake of another person. . . this is just not my style. it does happen, i mean i noticed it when i started talking to _ _ _, i lost myself on the phone, late night calls, falling asleep. that all goes with my social self, i like to talk. i fell in love for a second, but caught myself right away before i lost myself. don't get me wrong, i love. i love whatever i choose to love, but i don't need to apply it in a relationship.
as for all those couples out there, i'm glad that they have found each other. i will share their joy with them, but please no PDA. save that for someone else who wants to see that. ha, i admit it's fun to point and laugh, but then it just gets disgusting. anways, good luck to all those couples out there. you have my blessing. even though it doesn't matter.

L<3ve is just a w<3rd.